Maybe You’re Not Overreacting. Is it Possible That’s a Trigger?

When the Reaction Doesn’t Match the Moment

You snap at your partner over something small. You feel rage in your chest because someone cut in front of you. You freeze up during a conversation and can’t figure out why. Later, you wonder, "What the heck was that about?"

That was a trigger. And no, it doesn’t mean you’re crazy or broken.

It means something from your past just hijacked your present.

What a Trigger Really Is

A trigger is when your nervous system responds to a present moment like it’s a past danger. Something in your environment—a tone of voice, a smell, a phrase, a look—flips a switch in your brain. Suddenly, you’re not reacting to what’s happening now. You’re reacting to what happened then.

This doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you have a history that hasn’t been fully digested yet.

Why Men Don’t Catch It

• You were taught to power through, not pause and reflect

• You don’t associate emotional pain with physical symptoms

• You think, "That’s just how I am"

• You’re more comfortable with anger than fear or sadness

One guy told me every time his wife raised her voice, he felt like he was being attacked. Not just annoyed. Actually under threat. Turns out he grew up in a house where yelling meant violence was coming. His brain remembered, even if he didn’t connect the dots right away.

What Triggers Can Look Like

• You overreact to small stuff

• You feel sudden panic, rage, or shutdown

• You start sweating, your heart races, your fists clench

• You feel like you’re watching yourself from the outside

• You go numb and zone out

  
  

Triggers can be loud or quiet. Explosive or invisible. But they all pull you out of the present.

How to Start Taking Your Power Back

1. Name It Without Shame

When you feel that wave of emotion hit, say to yourself, "I think this is a trigger." That one sentence can interrupt the spiral.

2. Track the Pattern

What situations hit you hardest? What do they remind you of? Write it down. Patterns reveal the roots.

3. Breathe Like It Matters

This isn’t some fluffy tip. Slow, deep breathing signals your nervous system that you’re safe. In through the nose, out through the mouth. Five times. Do it.

4. Ground Yourself Physically

Touch something cold. Push your feet into the floor. Say what you see out loud: "Red chair. Blue wall. Wood floor." These tricks pull you back to now.

5. Talk to Someone Who Gets It

You don’t have to tell your life story. But a friend, a coach, a therapist—someone who won’t brush it off—can help you make sense of it.

You’re not overreacting. You’re reacting to something real. It might not belong to today, but it shaped how you move through the world.

The goal isn’t to never get triggered. It’s to notice it faster. To stay grounded. To respond instead of react.

You’re not weak. You’re waking up. That’s the beginning of real power.

At Mind Works Counseling Services in Lubbock, we specialize in helping men just like you process their past trauma.

Learn more about the Trauma Counseling services we offer.

Contact us to schedule an appointment or to let us answer any questions you may have.