Alone, Together: Managing Depression Against the Backdrop of a Relationship
“I don’t want you to go, I just want to be alone with you here.” -Tom in The Five-Year Engagement. I recently watched this movie with my...
Are you having a hard time staying engaged in your life and you don't know why? Do you find yourself struggling to stay motivated to complete tasks throughout the day? Has your sex drive taken a nose dive or do you find yourself exhausted no matter how much sleep you get?
People in your life have probably noticed something is off as well. They ask you if you are ok and try to understand what is wrong, but you don't understand it yourself. Depression may be the last thing on your mind, but you should understand that men get depressed too. Either way, don't you think it is time to do something about it?
Depression is unique in that it forces us to look backward and inward. We look back that things that have happened in our lives and start to form negative opinions as a result. Depression forces us to look inward in that it causes us to look at ourselves critically. Perhaps you struggle with feelings of failure, shame, or inadequacy. Depression does this. It also motivates us to withdraw and isolate at times. In men especially, depression is often masked by behaviors that appear to be anger, irritability, or frustration.
Men experience depression too.
Depression is the most commonly diagnosed mental condition for both men and women. Many times, for men, depression doesn't look like what you may expect. In men, depression is often covert. This means that when you feel irritable, angry, or frustrated, it could be due to depression. For a lot of guys, the thought of depression challenges their masculinity.
Many feel that depression is a feminine issue. Trust me. It is not. Depression is more common than you may realize. It is just tricky to diagnose because it can present so differently in men. Think about it. How many guys have you know that suddenly became grumpy, unhappy at work, lost or gained weight quickly, or started drinking or using drugs? It is likely that the cause of some of those changes were due to depression.
Depression therapy works.
Many men think they can handle their depression themselves. Some guys do this by drinking more while others turn to podcasts, self-help books, or the gym. It is true these things can help but rarely do these approaches tackle the real issue at the core of their depression.
Counseling for depression is empirically proven. This means that extensive, unbiased research has been conducted to prove that it works. With approaches like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), a professional counselor can help you discover what is at the center of your belief system that is motivating your depressive thoughts. Then, your counselor will challenge those beliefs and give you an opportunity to re-write the script in your head. A counselor is also uniquely qualified and trained to act as a mirror and show you patterns and broken thinking you didn't even know was there.
At the very least, it can be helpful to talk through some of the things you are struggling with. Just knowing that someone is there to listen to you can help to ease the burden you are carrying. Medication can help too, but it is more of a quick fix and will not affect the thinking patterns that are fueling your depression. CBT counselors use a technique called cognitive restructuring. This is how we empower you to change destructive thought patterns.
You need a counselor who understands men.
As you've already read, depression looks different in men than women, and many times depression in men is masked by other feelings or behavior. You need a counselor who understands this.
The team at Mind Works Counseling Services understands what you need. We have worked with all sorts of men and helped them manage their depression. We also have experience in working with military personnel and first responders. It does not matter what walk of life you are from, we are trained, educated, and passionate about working with you to help you get your depression under control.
At Mind Works Counseling Services, we understand that you, even taking the time to read this page, takes courage and we applaud you for it. We also understand that it is important you to get answers and start working toward a better life as soon as possible. We always do our best to make sure that you leave your first session with at least one thing to work on so you can get started right away. We do this in a male-friendly environment that has you in mind. Our team has years of experience in treating depression and we are more than capable of helping you realize what you are more than capable of as well.
Don't wait for things to get worse, and stop believing the lie that you aren't important enough to get help. You matter. Let us work with you to get you on your way to a healthy and happy life.
If you have more questions, please call us at (806) 553-6068 or click here to send us an email. If you'd like to know more about setting up an appointment, click here.
Mind Works Counseling Services is a Lubbock, TX based Counseling Practice.