Silence is Violence: How Passive Behavior Becomes Passive Aggression
We were in the car. I was with my family, and we were going from point A to point B like we had done many times before. This time,...
Have you ever considered getting counseling, but then instantly cringed at the thought of it? Maybe you thought you don't really need help. Maybe you thought you'd rather try and work it out yourself instead of sitting on a flowery couch in a room with pink walls, talking about your feelings. After all who could blame you? What man wants to go through that all so he can spill his guts to a complete stranger.
The problem is that "handling it yourself' isn't working is it? No matter how hard you work or how strong you try to be, the thoughts keep creeping in. Thoughts like "I'm not good enough," "I don't work hard enough'" I'm a terrible husband/father," "I'm a failure." My guess is that if you knew how to get rid of these thoughts you'd have done it already.
You are not alone.
What if I told you that you are not alone? Not even close. Nearly half of the people in this country suffering from mental distress are men. Depression and anxiety affect men almost as much as women, but there are other forms of mental distress that affect men as well, such as anger, stress, and struggles with self-worth.
Many guys are in the same boat as you...feeling miserable, but not wanting to ask for help...considering counseling, but turned off by the traditional methods portrayed in movies and on TV. I get it. But, what is going to happen to you if you don't get help. How is it going to affect your relationship, your kids, or your jobs if you continue living your life the way you are right now? What is going to happen to you? Can you really afford not to be well?
Work with a counselor who knows what men need.
When you make the choice to find a professional counselor who is trained and passionate about working with YOU, it can make all the difference in the world. Counseling works. There is plenty of research to back that up. The issue is more about finding a counselor who understands you and how your experiences are relevant to you. By selecting a counselor who specializes in men's issues, you are choosing a professional who understands that depression, stress, anxiety, and other forms of distress are going to look differently in a man than a woman.
You are also choosing someone who understands that treatment should be different for you as well. Maybe you don't want to sit and talk about your feelings, but you are willing to collaborate with an expert to find some manageable and measurable solutions. A solution-focused approach works well with many men because it is designed to empower you to work on improving what you need to in your life.
Maybe you don't like the idea of someone telling you what to do. Who could blame you? Perhaps, you are more open to the idea of working with someone
who can provide you with tips, tricks, and an action plan to get you on your way to being the best version of yourself.
This is what we can provide at Mind Works Counseling Services.
By working with you, we can help to identify the triggers in your life that are responsible for your anxiety. We can help you to understand patterns in your thinking which contribute to you feeling depressed. We can help you develop healthy coping skills for those times when you are feeling like a failure. We can also give you the skills you need so that you won't have to be in therapy forever.
If you've read this far, you probably have questions.
"I know I have a problem, but is counseling really the answer?"
If you are aware that something is going on, then you've probably noticed how your mental health is affecting your life and those in it. Counseling can help you learn about what is going on in your life and help you to develop the skills that you need in order to work through those unseen problems. As professional counselors, we are educated and trained to be able to see what you might not be able to. It could be a broken thinking pattern, destructive behavior, or a lack of coping skills. Regardless, counseling can help you to identify and change those things so that you don't spend another moment being less healthy than you should.
"I could never devote the time and money counseling requires for myself"
Oh, I see. If you are focusing on yourself then that must mean you are being selfish. I understand. But, think about the people in your life who are depending on you right now. I don't mean financially either. Who are the people in your life you need you to show up and be there? Can you see their faces? Can you picture them calling you selfish for wanting to take care of yourself? Yeah, me either. Counseling does take time, and it takes money. However, consider the alternative. If you aren't well, then how can you begin to be who you want to be for the people in your life. You may not think you can afford it, but consider this: can you afford not to?
"I've made it this far in life without any help. Why now?"
You didn't make it to this page by accident. If you are reading this, then you are at least considering getting help. Do me a favor right now. Imagine what your life looks like without whatever it is you are struggling with. How does that look. What would it mean to you to not have to fight so hard every day? What would it mean to like the guy staring back at you in the mirror? How would you feel if you were proud of the man you have become. At Mind Works Counseling Services, this is what we do. We cannot offer you any guarantees, but we have helped a lot of guys, just like you, find what they were looking for.
Your life really can be better.
Listen man, I know it's scary. I know you can come up with a million excuses for not going through with this. Don't you think you owe it to yourself and the ones who love to at least give this a shot?
You are important. You are valuable. And, whatever you are struggling with right now...there's a good chance that it is 100% fixable. Let us help you. If you have more questions, please call us at (806) 553-6068 or click here to send us an email. If you'd like to know more about setting up an appointment, click here.
Mind Works Counseling Services is a Lubbock, TX based Counseling Practice.