Men Don’t Call It Anxiety—But That’s Exactly What It Is

Joshuah Ellis, PhD, LPC
Jun 20
3 min read

When Worry Wears a Mask

You don’t walk around saying, "Man, my anxiety is really acting up today."

Nah. You say, "I'm just stressed." Or, "I can't turn my brain off." Or maybe nothing at all. You just grip the steering wheel a little tighter, snap at your kids more than usual, or stay up late staring at the ceiling.

Here’s the truth: A lot of men have anxiety. We just don’t call it that.

What Anxiety Looks Like in Men

Forget the stereotype of the hand-wringing, nail-biting worrier. Anxiety in men usually shows up differently:

You get irritated fast and often.
You have a short fuse but can’t explain why.
You overthink everything, especially the stuff you can't control.
You stay busy to avoid slowing down.
You zone out with TV, drinking, work, or your phone.
You feel tense all the time—like your body’s always bracing for something.

That’s anxiety. Not the obvious kind. The kind that wears a mask and blends into your day.

Why Men Don’t Talk About It

We’re taught to fix, not feel. Anxiety doesn’t have a clear problem to solve, so we ignore it.
We think we should handle it alone. Asking for help feels like weakness.
We don't recognize it. We call it stress, anger, or being "off."

A guy once told me he thought anxiety meant having panic attacks. But he never connected his constant overthinking and stomach issues to it. Once we unpacked it, it clicked. He wasn’t broken. He was anxious—and it made sense.

What’s Actually Going On in Your Brain

Your brain has one job: keep you alive. When it senses a threat—even a made-up one like "What if I lose my job?" or "What if she leaves?"—it hits the gas. Your heart races. Your muscles tense. Your thoughts spin. That’s your fight-or-flight kicking in.

Problem is, most modern threats aren’t lions or robbers. They’re emails, bills, or not knowing what comes next. Your brain reacts the same, but there’s no clear action to take. So you stay revved up with nowhere to go.

What You Can Actually Do About It

1. Recognize It for What It Is

Stop calling it "just stress." Name it. "I'm feeling anxious." That honesty alone can lower the volume.

2. Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Body

You can’t think your way out of anxiety. You have to move. Walk, lift, run, punch a bag. Burn off some of that nervous energy.

3. Control What You Can, Drop What You Can't

Write down what you’re anxious about. Then split the list in two: things you can act on vs. things you can’t. Focus only on what you can control. Let the rest sit.

4. Build a Routine That Grounds You

Sleep. Nutrition. Movement. Time outdoors. These aren’t magic, but they create stability—and anxiety hates stability.

5. Talk It Out with Someone Who Gets It

Not to get advice. Just to get it out of your head. Whether it’s a buddy, a mentor, or a therapist, saying it out loud cuts it down to size.

Anxiety isn’t weakness. It’s not failure. It’s your brain doing what it thinks it needs to do to keep you safe. But when it runs wild, it takes more than it gives.

You don’t have to let it run the show.

Start where you are. Call it what it is. Move your body. Say something. Breathe. Do it your way—but do something.

You’re not crazy. You’re not alone. And this doesn’t have to run your life.

At Mind Works Counseling Services in Lubbock, we specialize in helping men just like you deal with their anxiety.

Learn more about the Anxiety Counseling services we offer.