Men, I want to talk to you about going through a break up. Break ups can feel like grief; there’s loss of a future you may have planned, you no longer have a vital part of your support system, and a source of happiness is gone.
Because of this loss, you might be feeling highly emotional. This can look like anger outbursts, crying at random times, loss of appetite, or difficulty sleeping. Instead of using avoidances such as alcohol, gaming, or meaningless sex, it is important to allow yourself the time to get through this and recognize the emotions you are feeling are expected.
Be Aware of Your Mindset
A common theme I notice with clients is the need to mindread or assume what the ex-partner is thinking or doing. Maybe it offers you slight relief to think that she is at home crying and in despair just like you or maybe you assume she is out at the club meeting someone new. However, whether she is or isn’t, you cannot allow yourself to sit in your own mind becoming caged by these thoughts. They are not fruitful or helpful.
Maintain Your Identity
While in a relationship it is easy to get lost in one another. We begin to neglect our other relationships or hobbies. As you start to figure out what to do with all of this time you now have I want you to think “how can I grow from this? What change can I make that will better myself in this moment and assist me in moving forward?” This can look like going to the gym, shifting from a negative to a more positive outlook, learning something new, or even investing more time with family and friends.
Allow Yourself to Feel
Remind yourself: all of these feelings are expected, it’s part of the growth and healing process. You are not less of a man for feeling so sad or upset over a breakup. If you find yourself struggling more than this or feel like you are truly losing hope, reach out to a therapist… you are worth investing in.
At Mind Works Counseling Services in Lubbock, TX, we specialize in counseling for men. Our team is trained and passionate about helping men navigate through the difficulties of life such as relationships and break ups. If you are looking for counseling, it is essential that you find a counselor who understands you and how your mind works.
Learn more about the Men's Counseling Services we offer.
Contact us to make an appointment or to let us answer any questions you may have.